Overwhelmed at 2:30 A.M.:

Man, it's like 2:30 in the damn morning, and here I am, realizing I might've bitten off way more than I can chew. I gotta write this down 'cause, damn it, I need to stay anchored in reality. I've had all these damn ideas bouncing around in my head for years—years, man! And every year, I keep tellin' myself, "This is it, this is my year." But you know what happens? I end up chasin' something else. Got these weird-ass habits, spendin' hours on 'em, and, man, they’re so damn strange I can’t even admit what they are. But hey, if something comes out of all this, this crazy act I'm puttin' together, then you best believe, if I make it big, I'll spill all the tea. It’s all gonna be in my book anyway, but I ain’t tryna talk about that right now.

Look, I know what I wanna say, but my head's just all over the place. I’m sittin' here, recitin' this stuff, and it’s like I got nothin' to say when it’s just me. My mind’s racin', man, like a damn hamster on a wheel, but when it’s time to speak up, I bore myself. Crazy, right? I’m way better when there’s somebody in front of me, no doubt. I wish my life was organized, but hell, I’m just a mess. I know I need help gettin' my shit together. It’s tough, especially when you’re livin’ in your damn car with a kitten. And Austin? Man, I’m so freakin’ traumatized by all the shit that’s gone down. Two jobs I actually liked, gone. And if I told you my story, you’d probably laugh in my face and say, "Oh, so it’s everyone else’s fault, huh?" Like I’m the one messin' up and I’m just in denial. But I’m not in denial, damn it! If that’s what you think, then you ain’t hearin’ me, and you probably never will.

I don’t even know what the hell I just said, but thank God for technology—I can dictate this now and read it later. But the key, man, the key is to have content, and that’s what I gotta make happen.